Hold the Mayo

Earlier tonight, starving and ready for some guy time, I journeyed to Alpine Bagel with friendly Will Halicks. Soon thereafter I realized I needed salt and pepper, but my search for seasoning was deterred by the discovery of these:

At first I thought these brightly colored packets were some sort of strange, Alpine-branded organic honey, but oh, was I ever wrong. Once I stopped wondering why a place that sells coffee and bagels felt the need to carry ketchup, I quickly grabbed up all the designs I could find and reveled in my ketchup fetish, which I once won an award for - "Most Disgusting Amount of Ketchup on a Burger," Blepo Ski Trip, Winterplace, West Virgina. Will found it amusing, but I'm sure Will's friend found it not so amusing when she introduced herself to me and all I could do was gush about specially designed ketchup packets. Obviously, I am a sad, sad man, since it is now nearly 1 in the morning and I am neglecting to study and get sleep for tomorrow's 8 AM news editing exam, instead opting to take pictures of the winners of the Heinz Ketchup Creativity Contest and write about it on my blog.

According to Heinz, "Teachers will find an easy-to-follow lesson plan designed especially for their class's age group. The kit includes templates for the design contest, instructions on submitting the artwork, fun ketchup facts and nutrition information. Heinz hopes teachers have fun talking with students about Heinz, tomatoes, ketchup and lycopene. That's why Heinz put together the 'fun facts' sheet for each grade grouping - it combines educational information, history on the H.J. Heinz Company and its founder, tomato health information and much, much more." Right. Because teachers can just stop worrying about No Child Left Behind test scores and instead do whatever the fuck they want about tomato products.

Most of the winners hail from New York and Miami, which I'm sure is some thinly veiled comment about the East Coast's condiment market, but I'm not about to Google "East Coast, ketchup factories." (Okay, that's a lie, but all I got was information about Mayagüez, Puerto Rico.) The winning kids received a handful of mediocre prizes, most notably $750 in free Heinz Ketchup for their respective winning schools. Poor kids couldn't even get any free fucking ketchup for themselves.

And such is the evidence for what is quite possibly the lamest contest ever. And that's exactly why I love it.

Ziggy Made Me Do It

I think this pretty much sums up my weekend, gnome and all.

So It Goes

"The only proof he ever needed of the existence of God was music."

- Kurt Vonnegut, 11/11/22 - 4/11/07

Maybe You Won't Trust Matthew Kelly, But I Know You Trust Cat Chakales

"Too often the time we do set aside for relationships is on the perimeters of our already busy lives, so we approach our relationships without the energy they demand in order to be fruitful and fulfilling."

"Most people stumble through life believing that one day they will find the pace of life and variety of activity that will create the rhythm of life that is conducive to optimum, health, happiness, efficiency, and contentment. They will not. The rhythm of life must be desired and created."

"People are a gift. Each person who crosses through your life is a chance to love, a chance to really live. Cherish people."

"Often we are distracted by the past and the future. The future is a mirage. The past was the present. The future will be the present. The only reality is now."

"Courage is essential to the human experience. Courage animates us, brings us to life, and makes everything else possible. Yet courage is the rarest quality in a human person. The most dominant emotion today in modern society is fear. We are afraid. Afraid of losing the things we have worked hard to buy, afraid of rejection and failure, afraid of certain parts of town, afraid of certain types of people, afraid of criticism, afraid of suffering and heartache, afraid of change, afraid to tell people how we really feel . . . we are afraid of so many things. We are even afraid of ourselves. Do not waste your life, because life is there - all you have to do is reach out and embrace it. Anything is possible. Whatever your dream is, make it happen. Have courage. Start today. You will be amazed what life will give you in return for a little bit of courage. Courage is a choice. Be certain of one thing: The measure of your life will be the measure of your courage."

"Intimacy is measured by self-revelation."

I recently went to dinner with my friend Alec.

It changed everything.

As he had just received his cap and gown, Alec wanted to talk intellectually. To reflect, to reminisce, to talk about growth and fear and future and past and present and more future. So we did. And for the first time in a long time, I felt complete. This year has not been so much a year of change, but a year of implementation. The summer before sophomore year I took a moment to reflect on my freshman experience, and realized there was a lot there that I didn't like. And that needed to change. I wanted to refocus relationships and chase after dreams and grasp the honesty of importance. So I did. And suddenly, in that moment with Alec, that all came full circle. What I experienced freshman year connected with the future. 9/11 and YouTube and divorce rates connected with the need to create and perform. The Sophomore Slump connected with globalization. A friend's paralysis connected with a year of achievement. The need for struggle connected with career pathways. Past connected with present. Devastation connected with drive. Acceptance connected with happiness.

For a moment there, I was elated. I grasped what it all meant, the friendships and the wars and the plays and the grades. I was free, I was high, I was immortal. I knew everything. But to know everything is to know nothing.

And today, I certainly know nothing.

What I came to realize this afternoon is that feeling full circle is only a stepping stone towards the rest of life. For the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever, I know who I am. But now I must embrace that. Yes, I am happy and confidant and successful. But happiness and confidence and success are infinite. They only push us closer to what we all desire, and that is love. And love is the acceptance of who one is. However, to know who we are is one thing, and to embrace that is another obstacle all together. Acceptance is not so much a realization but an action. It's a hike on a mountain or a morning spent fingerprinting or a night climbing to the rooftop of a library. And to know that is devastating and frightening, but at once also thrilling and invigorating.

All I know now is that I want to grab my iPod and blast some Kings of Leon and hike like no body's business.

Here I Dreamt I Was A Decemberist

The Whigs, RJD2, The Walkmen, Cold War Kids. Such was the March Madness season of live music, a near-unbeatable feat of magic and wonder.

But then, tonight, April ushered a mighty retaliation in the form of something unexpectedly epic.

The Decemberists.

Grand enough in scale thanks to Chris Crack, a budding feud with Fall Out Boy, a crazy high drummer, "The Crane Wife" 1-3 in complete succession, a hot air balloon dress , a near suicidal South Carolinian in the upper left balcony, and a giant whale costume with subsequent audience lamenting, Colin Meloy had to go and top it all.

He invited us on stage.

Jeremy Huynh and I gladly accepted the invitation.

For "Sons and Daughters," three feet away from Colin, and within cuddling distance of the bassist, we sang for all of Raleigh. And we danced. And we rejoiced.


As you can tell in this picture with said bassist working his arm out of Huynh's ear, we were more than elated to be in the company of gods. Not so happy, however, to get lost in Raleigh afterwards. But we had the comfort of Cook Out milkshakes and the backdrop of OK Computer, so all was well in the world.