SUPERLAMBBANANAS

Currently in Liverpool, a place where everything is insignificant when "compared with Liverpool's most famous export of all, the Beatles." It's a self-deprecating statement so bitterly true that the city's tourism agency has taken it on as an official slogan. I'm not sure I'd be so severe, but for the most part, their right.

Arrived here on Sunday after a brief stop in Matlock for a Peak Performance Workshop in Matlock with good ol' Graham Langley. As a former drama teacher, Graham describes storytelling in terms of Brecht and Stanislavsky, so it was excellent to be able to talk storytelling in my own language for a few hours. Matlock was a nice little town but I was only there for a night, so I didn't get quite a good feel for it. However, located in the middle of a gorge, it reminded me of a quaint little UK Gatlinburg, as the streets were lined with nothing but bed and breakfasts and ice cream shops and arcades and rides up the mountain in cable cars. Still, I met a bundle of new storytelling friends and even shared a lunchtime feast with them.

Sunday was a miserable day of travel. My uphill walk to the workshop was entirely in the rain and consisted of me sweating and cursing and getting lost near "the UK's premiere Ford dealership." I had to take several trains to Liverpool that night and one got cancelled and I was stuck for more than hour in a sandwich shop. As always, I had a distraction nearby and gladly took the time to continue breezing through On the Road.

I spent most of my time Monday at the city's World Museum, looking at all things space and dinosaurs and aquariums and African masks and giant bugs. A lovely little girl came up to me in the aquarium to show me that she had found Nemo and Dory and I thought it was the cutest thing I've possibly ever seen. There was also a FREE planetarium show and an ant colony exhibit that proved fascinating. The ants walked 10 feet across a rope hanging overhead and back to get gigantic pieces of flowery nutritional goodness for the queen. I spent about 20 minutes watching in awe. Folks, ants are some strong ass motherfuckers.

However, the highlight of Monday was the parade of Superlambbananas. As the European Union's capital of culture for 2008, Liverpool has decided to honor it's most famous work of art,the Superlambbanana, with a series of about 50 Superlambbanana replicas. They all look, well, quite frankly, like a lamb with a banana for an ass. But really, can you think of a name in the entire history of the world that is greater than the that of SUPERLAMBBANANA? I think not. On my way to the museum, I got stopped by a woman who saw me admiring one of the Superlambbanana replicas. She was from the board who oversaw all the Superlambbananas and asked me silly questions such as, "What percentage of your trip today was based on your desire to visit the Superlambbananas?" I said 25% because I had no idea what she was talking about.

Monday night I was also supposed to visit a local storytelling circle but I found out it was canceled once I got to the bar it was supposed to be hosted at. I have learned that storytelling circles are very, very, very informal, so it was no big surprise. I also had to cancel a trip to see a storytelling competition in Frome (rhymes with broom) for Wednesday because there are no trains that run out of the city after 9 pm to anywhere else that has accommodations less than $100 a night.

Well, at least I'll always have my Superlambbananas.